So, I’m thirty and i’m not yet ready to be a mum. I love kids, I want kids one day, and admittedly I feel pressure to have kids as my biological clock is running out. But one thing I know for sure, is that I am not going to be a mum right now. I have to get well and I also have put my career on hold for a few years and when i’m ready to be a mum, I want to commit myself fully to really being a great mum. In the mean time i’m learning about parenting, educating myself. I know that you learn as you experience parenting, and you can’t be completely be prepared, but like Seth Rogen in ‘Knocked Up’, i’m gonna read the baby books. I also want my body to be in good physical shape before I carry another life.

As sure as I am that i’m right to not rush into such an important thing as pregnancy, I still have the ignorant words of a family member at the back of my mind. (a family member I am now estranged from). I was 23 and single at the time. They said I was ‘silly’ to not have children yet. That i’d be an ‘old mum’. That I should wait until my kids are grown before travelling and not travel before kids. Firstly, I was like ‘Dude, i’m single right now. It’s not really something i’m thinking about’, secondly ‘I didn’t ask your opinion, and what gives you the right to be so critical’?  Thirdly, I’d like to grow as much as I can, and be worldly and have had adventures before embarking on an adventure as amazing as becoming a parent. As irrelevant as their opinion was, it just stuck with me a little bit.

However, I do find myself getting quite broody. When my good friend Laura was pregnant, I loved having an excuse to go and look at baby clothes. I had a few other friends who were pregnant at the same time, so I spent a lot of time online looking at gifts and down the baby aisles. I have a very patient boyfriend.

So, a lot of people I follow on instagram have recently had babies. I love seeing the photos of their nurseries, and their little families. I love the happiness and love I see in my newsfeed. I also see a lot of captions talking about cold cups of tea.

It makes me appreciate my warm cups that much more (I am one of those rare people who like to drink tea lukewarm and not hot, my boyfriend is sufficiently weirded out by this, but i’m equally weirded out that he will nuke a cold cup. Just no!).

So, if any mummys out there read this blog of mine i’d like to link my good friend’s awesome blog. She’s hilarious, and real, and honest. She’s an inspiration to me. She’s been through a lot but her positive attitude shines through. Her baby girl, Baby B, is the happiest baby i’ve ever seen. I honestly think she laughs with Laura and I when we’re in stitches during amusing conversations. Even if you’re not yet a parent, Laura’s blog covers so much more. She talks about amusing experiences, run ins with people who make you facepalm so hard you need an aspirin, she talks about dealing with chronic illness and she’s another brave person aiming to end the stigma, talk about ‘invisible illnesses’.  You will likely laugh, cry, reflect and relate reading  Laura’s blog posts.

              Photographer: Melissa Dickens

So, here’s the link. Make yourself a tea, and I hope you get to drink it before it gets cold.

(Ok, the link isn’t working. I’m going to figure out how to link it in the meantime. But it’s coldteaandbaby.wordpress.com)

Much Love,

S

xx