Holy Chicago, 34.

This year needs to be the year that…

 

• I accept that Keanu Reeves is taken. (let’s be honest, i would never be worthy of such an angel of a man anyway).

 

• I break up with sugar. I look back to the super healthy years of my life, the brief period I was really into exercise and had the best figure i’ve had (age 17/18 etc..) and how I never had refined sugar. I was probably orthorexic and obsessive, but hey, although that wasn’t ideal, I was healthier and not a high risk for cancer, stroke, diabetes. Also, vanity reason and dental reasons. The white stuff has got to go.

 

• SLEEP!  you know it’s time to take it seriously when even the physio therapist questions you about sleep and educates you on the importance of it. Over the years I’ve tried so many prescribed medications and herbal remedies. I did the sleep webinar course my doctor and therapist recommended. I was improving but then got into a long distance relationship with some American dude and the 5 hour time difference was a killer speaking on the phone for 5 hours a night when he got home from work. I did two days of GCSE’s without going to bed the night between, and I worked two days occasionally without going to bed the night between. This is why I look so old. This and Sugar and Stress.  Not okay. I’ve never been a good sleeper, maybe it’s not entirely impossible for me?

 

• I stop living a sedentary lifestyle. I don’t even recognise myself anymore. I’m miserable. I have the best friends and so much love, yet I am holding myself back from life by being such a sleep deprived unfit mess.

 

• Be less messy.  Emotionally messy. I’ll always express myself and be a bit of an open book, but maybe reign it in a little. Or invest in a physical journal.

 

 

• Get my hair and nails done. I’ll never be one of those super shiny glossy girls, I use my hands far too much and couldn’t have acrylics. but maybe a manicure once in a while Stace. Make an effort and stop thinking of makeup as a chore. You liked it once. The banana clip you bought to use when you blow-dry was never meant to be worn outside the house. Stop wearing it outside the house.

 

• I stop saying I can’t dress nice, wear makeup or use my ‘nice shoes and handbags’ until I’ve lose weight. Other plus sized chicks look lovely and put together (I mean i’m obese, but whatevs),   you can make an effort whilst losing the weight, not just waiting until the time you’ve lost it. This all or nothing mentality has to change.

 

• I don’t ignore my body’s warnings because I’m too afraid to face reality.  It’s ok to feel fear (Even though I constantly remind myself of people who are facing much worse procedures and how badass and brave they are compared to my absolute wimpy ass). I need to stop being an ostrich and get my head out of the sand.

 

•  Floss more regularly. Twice a week isn’t enough!

 

• WORK ON MY POSTURE!  Weeks of physio and a lot of pain, sort it out. I’ve learnt the techniques, stop slacking.

 

• Spend more time with friends. I need to stop worrying that i’m not ‘upbeat’ or ‘positive’ enough to be in other’s company and just get the f*ck out there and reconnect in person. Not through email, FaceTime,  text or lengthy phone calls.

 

 

• Read more. One book in 2019! I read one book. Eleanor Oliphant in my opinion was very much overrated. I have boxes of books I haven’t unpacked since the move… waiting for my bookcase to be built. Stop making excuses, the short attention span and lack of bookcase does not restrict one from the ability to read. I used to always have a book open. I loved to read.

 

• Change my damn guitar strings and invest in a new keyboard. That way practising between lessons will be more pleasurable.

 

• Less self deprecating. I think i’m funny, but it upsets my friends. Maybe there is truth in the shit talk I say about myself and they see it.